Tuesday, January 27, 2009

~*~ I am getting back ~*~

Wow. It has been three weeks since I have posted here. I am struggling with depression. The holidays started it and the weather, I am sure hasn't helped it. It is difficult to say that I am struggling with depression because somewhere it is BRANDED on my brain that as a Believer, I have no reason, etc to be depressed. Well, I guess that depression doesn't need a reason and there is no reasoning with it. But there comes a time when one must confess defeat and realize defeat. I am working on attitude but I think this time the doctor needs to be consulted. This is really more than I want to admit and say but I guess sometimes we need to openly discuss our struggles to help us get thru them and to also share with others that may be struggling with the same issues and to realize that we aren't alone.

So, today, I let you know that I have been struggling and that I am going to come out of this. A few weeks ago, my favorite tea shop put on a class about tea. I wanted to go but no one could go with. I didn't want to go alone. I made myself get in the car and drive there. When I got in the parking lot there was not one parking space. I was a bit early. No parking spot, I was NOT going to stay. I was not going to go. I left the parking lot. Talked to myself and said this is ridiculous. Drove around the big block and came back. Guess what a car had left! Actually more than one car had left! I parked and went to the class. I am so glad that I did. I am so glad that I overcame my feelings and went. The class was tremendous! I would have missed out on so much and I would have missed the joy that it brought me that day which HAD to help this feeling. Gosh, even as I write this I want to cry! Good grief! LOL

I am going to start posting again. I am going to start working on crafts again. I am going to pick up where I have left off on organizing and I am going to smile. I have LOTS to smile about - 15 reasons are age 14 to 7 months! LOL So, that is my story for now. And could use your prayers and next I will post some pics of my sweet 5 year old granddaughter's birthday!

So thanks for listening. Thank you for caring and thanks for sticking with me! :)

Matthew 10:30 "God even knows how many hairs are on your head."


Amanda said...

I was just wondering where you've been. Hang in there. you can get through this. i truly believe its the time of the year that makes a lot of people depressed. I went through the same thing last winter. I hated being stuck inside all winter, stuck in my cluttered house. I think having my house decluttered has helped me become not depressed or as stressed as before. Sorry i'm rambling.

I think trying to do what you loved doing sounds like a great idea. hoping it help you get through this. sending lots of prayers your way!

Diane said...

Hello welcome back !!!!!!!!! I am so thrilled to see you back posting again !!!!!!!!!
I wish I lived near you I would have went to the tea thing with you !!!
take care and email anytime and I mean it !!!!!!!!!!!!
take care

Susie said...

I think depression has such a bad rap as a mental disese. We need to shake off the stigma. Don't forget that depression is a chemical imbalance that has real physical issues. Consulting a doctor is wise. I have been on anti-depressants for years and I could not function without them.

Amber said...

So glad you are back!!! I do not know personally what it is like to suffer from depression but, Ryan does. He has been on medication for 3 years now. In the winter he has to get it upped because he still would be depressed. The doctor just changed his meds, and it has been so much better!! He can tell when he misses a pill. He says he just doesn't feel "right".

I am the one that pushed him to go to the doctor. I told him that there is no reason for him to be depressed when there is so much medication out there to battle it. He didn't like the idea to be dependant on pills, but now is so glad he did! Our relationship has gotten so much better and he can focus more.

I will make sure to add you to my prayers and your husband also. I know what it is like to have a spouse battling depression. I pray that God gives him the right words to say when you need comforting and I will also pray that he has understanding. Sometimes it's hard for us (spouses) to understand why you just can't "snap out of it"

Hang in there and know we are praying for you! And, know that God is bigger than any of this!

Ginny said...

It's too bad that Believers are looked down on if they get depressed. Just take a look at Elijah! As one of your other readers commented, part of what you're going through may be the time of year - Seasonal Affective Disorder is a problem for many. It's also been my experience that admitting you're depressed can be the start of coming out of it. Hope you feel better soon.

Marcia Francois said...

Marcia, I'm so glad you're taking back the control. and welcome back :)

There is no shame. I said to an aunt of mine once (the rest of her sisters are all "strong" women so don't get it), "do whatever it takes to feel okay. get pills from the doctor, and don't worry about what people say"

I'll be praying for you and I love Amber's comment.

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to say to you hoorah for you to admit that you are depressed. I know that I am. you do so much that I like to do. Cooking, crafts those things I that used to do. since I lost my job (i was sexually harrassed and told head management) I have been depressed. Do you think that I'll ever get over this?All I want to do is get over it and get back to work. But I want to change careers, do you think it's possible?